The Seven Habits of Highly Depressed People

Eat
Sleep
Watch TV
Look out window
Pet cat
Hide from phone
Wear soft pajamas

When Ladies Attack

The month of October has been unusually warm and dry here in my area of West Virginia. We’re actually in a severe drought. I don’t live in the mountainous, higher altitude part of the state; I’m in the foothills and the Ohio River Valley area. We didn’t have our first frost of the season until just the other day which is a bit later than normal.

Google Earth, Baby!

So how many of you have been to the Google Earth web site? It’s a site that shows detailed satellite maps of locations all over the world. Some areas even have views so detailed you can see YOUR house.

Big Foot Versus the Serial Killer

It finally rained yesterday. Which is great because we’ve been in a drought and I’m tired of dragging the garden hose out after work every day to water my plants. Since my garden is the only green thing around it’s become a smorgasbord for all the deer in the neighborhood anyway.

Politics and Other Boring Stuff

Well, it was all over the news yesterday; the stock market took the biggest dive EVER. My accumulated life savings of $123 is now down to 45 cents. Which means that I will never be able to afford to retire. I’ll be 80 years old and working at McDonald’s to pay for a hip replacement. I’ll have bill collectors knocking on my casket lid to ask me when I’ll be sending in my Visa payment.

Survey Answers Are In

I posted a survey last week that asked this; “The major newspaper headlines for tomorrow will be about you. What would you want them to say?”

Not everyone took the survey but here are the responses from those of you who did:

• Amazing Weight Loss Story – Woman Loses 60 Pounds Overnight!
• Man Found Drunk on Corner Holding Magarita
• Desiree Woodrow, Hard Working Mother of Twin Boys, Wins the Lottery
• Roseanne Marries a “Nice Guy”
• Missy Branch Voted Teacher of the Year
• Janine Dunn Has Won the Powerball
• Linda Mays, Regular Person, Discovers Cure for Depression
• Wilmington, NC Family Wins the Idea House Giveaway AND a European Family Vacation!
• Wisconsin Family to Move to Warmer Climate
• Carolyn Potter, Philanthropist, Gives Away All Her Money to the Poor
• I Achieved A Major Accomplishment … But I Don’t Know What!
• What a Guy!
• She Has A Heart Of Gold
• She Is A Godly Woman

Quote of the Day

 Happiness is not just for overachievers.
                                               –Brooks & Dunn

Every Family Has One

Every family or group of friends has one and I’m the one. I’m that person who is always digging change from the bottom of her handbag, clipping coupons, and asking if Disneyland offers a Triple AAA discount. I’m poor and I’m cheap. There. I’ve finally said it. 

Proper Grammar and Good Speling Ain’t Required On This Here Blog

A couple of you have told me you’ve been reading my blog posts but you don’t want to comment because you are embarrassed about your spelling or grammar skills. I guess I made everyone paranoid when I went on and on about my own fear of incompetence in my first post, “Why I’m Blogging”. Even one of the teachers told me she was hesitant to post a comment!

I’ve consulted the Blog Police and it’s official; NOBODY CARES IF WE ARE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN. YOU WILL NOT BE GRADED. YOU WILL NOT BE ARRESTED AND TAKEN DOWN TO THE POLICE STATION FOR A SPELLING BEE LINE-UP.

Wally World

Today is Friday and not a moment to soon. Even though it was only a four day work week it felt much longer. I have a lot of things I need to get done this weekend including attending a puppy shower, a baby shower, and planting three blueberry bushes. I decide to swing by the ever-popular Wal-Mart after work and get that knocked out. I find a shopping cart, greet the greeter, and then I’m off and running into the vast unknown reaches of Wally World.

Sued By My Ex-Boyfriend

When I moved into my new house last year I had to unpack box after box of dishes, clothes, knick-knacks, books, and memorabilia. One rainy Saturday I was upstairs unpacking one of my last boxes. I was nearing the bottom of the box that held old love letters, cards and photos and I came across a legal copy of a lawsuit.

 

A Little Decorum Please

This blog site is now open to family members so please show a little decorum, you wild girls!

It Was Scandalous

I had a massage yesterday. I used a gift certificate that my youngest sister, Missy, gave me last Christmas. Since I have a birthday coming up tomorrow, I decided this was a perfect time to cash in that certificate. I’ve only had 4 or 5 massages in my entire life. To me it’s the ultimate indulgence; the kind of thing I could look forward to for a year ahead of time because I get them so infrequently.

The Serial Killer Next Door

My neighbor’s cat is a serial killer. My cat, Jasmine, is a pampered indoor cat but my neighbor’s cat is strictly an outdoor cat and it hunts anything and everything that moves. It leaves gifts for me on my front porch. Bloody, shredded, disgusting piles of . . . . . something that used to be alive.  

That Was Then; This is Now

Today is Saturday. I fell asleep on the couch last night and I woke up this morning at 6:00 a.m. with dry eyes and a burning throat from allergies. I found the Visine and took a couple sips of water and tried to go back to sleep. No go. So I got up and started my normal Saturday routine.

Where in the World?

So, girls, you can’t fool me; I know some of you have no idea where Huntington, West Virginia is. You have a vague idea that I moved somewhere east of the Mississippi and was never heard from again.

Why I’m Blogging

I hate to admit it but I’ve finally decided to join the fatally hip crowd and start a blog. Not that I’m concerned about being hip; that ship’s already sailed. You can tell that by my use of the word ‘hip’.